How do you distinguish the difference between normal, developmental sibling conflict and sibling violence?

As a parent of four, I admit it's sometimes easier to refuse to get involved and let the children handle it themselves. There always seems to be two of the four quarreling about something, and constantly referreeing can be mentally exhausting! As my husband has said in the past, "You kids would argue about the air you breathe!". As the article indicates, sibling rivalry is normal, healthy, and often beneficial, but as parents, how do we know when the conflict has gone too far, and what can be done about it?? This article by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy titled "Sibling Violence" offers some guidelines about developmentally normal sibling rivalry versus sibling violence. Intervening early, helping kids name their emotions, validating what they are experiencing, and teaching and modeling how to resolve conflict are some great ways to help children resolve conflicts in a healthy, productive manner. As a parent, when I become exasperated with the daily turmoil that sibling conflict creates, I think it's important to remind myself that helping my children to "fight fair" today, will help us all tomorrow. It's a process, not an event. 



How much is too much?? 

Just the other day while on a run with my running partner, we were discussing how as children, we were never as scheduled out as our own kiddos. We all want our kids to succeed and be fabulous at everything they do, right? And, heaven forbid if little Johnny were to skip a season of baseball. He'd fall way behind the other boys, he wouldn't play All Stars, he wouldn't make the Varsity team, that college scholarship would be out, and who knows where Johnny would end up. In wanting the best for our kiddos, sometimes we're missing the basics for them and ourselves. This article from offers the opportunity to 'check it' when it comes to keeping our kids busy and at the 'top of their game'.

How much is too much?? By giving them a calendar full of activities and opportunities are we missing out on the essential experience of simply being a kid and spending quality time with family? Read on and find out....



Welcome to the blog! This blog is dedicated to those experiencing the transition to parenthood, the transition to the teen years, and families with multiples. My goal to provide tidbits, ideas, education, and some personal stories that will help you find the intentionality, normalcy, and balance in your life. You are not alone!



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